斯诺克奇葩解说“东张西望”语录(欢迎补充)

上海五星体育的“东张西望”(张迅和汪译男)(尤其是译男)一直以来都是斯诺克解说界的一朵奇葩。俩人以无比强大的自信,一唱一和的相声,飘忽若神的思路,漫天飞舞的英文单词,以及对四大天王(亨得利,奥沙利文,希金斯,威廉姆斯)+丁俊晖的无限拔高和对其余球员的无限贬低而著称。以前年少无知的时候曾经领教过他们一次,当时便惊为天人,后来再也不敢正视他俩鲜血淋漓的解说。无奈有的视频只有上体的版本,或者有的时候只有五星的转播可以看到,比如这次的上海大师赛半决赛;而我至今还没有发现把赛场音频和解说音频分离开来的方法,所以只能“直面惨淡的人生”。闲暇之余,整理一下他俩的语录,发现也颇为有趣。欢迎看官们补充吐槽哈。

(注:有的地方不是严格的原话,所以没加引号,但是意思就是那样。)

2007年大奖赛半决赛  奥沙利文-墨菲

在张迅列举墨菲2005年世锦赛创下的一系列记录之后,

译男:如果不是拿05年那次世锦赛冠军,肖恩-墨菲现在估计也就跟杰拉德-格林(当时排名好像是32?)一样,就是个1流半2流选手。

我想说,如果以此类推,特里-格里菲斯如果不是赢得1979年的世锦赛冠军,那么他是不是也该回家继续当邮差去了。机遇的偶然性是不是在世锦赛漫长的赛制赛程下,尤其对于从资格赛一路打起的墨菲,显得更具有必然性?

先是译男说墨菲没有让他印象很深的比赛,然后张迅提到07年威尔士公开赛上墨菲对科普的连续4杆破百,

译男: 我只能说,有些球赶巧了只能破百

我想说,首先译男你确定自己看过这场比赛?对于你家希金斯的连续4杆破百,恐怕你不会这么说吧,且不论希金斯那场比赛是17局9胜制而墨菲那次是9局5胜制。斯诺克发展了这么多年涌现了那么多高手,为什么别人就没有赶巧而偏偏希金斯和墨菲就赶巧了?

2009年世锦赛 某场 (好像是半决赛希金斯对艾伦)

在谈到斯诺克进攻和防守的重要性时,

译男:有一次我和一个人打,他说我也就会做安全球而已。我当时就跟他打赌,让他得不了分(这里不太确定,或者是得很少分)。果然最后就是那样。

我想说,你的观点我很支持,但是你也不用通过炫耀自己球技,通过嘲笑一个不懂斯诺克的人来说明啊。如果那个人在电视前听到这番话,会作何感想?

2009年世锦赛半决赛 墨菲-罗伯逊

罗伯逊犯规主动向裁判承认之后,

译男:看看人家罗伯逊,再看看墨菲

我想说,墨菲早在08年英锦赛四分之一决赛对阵斯蒂芬-李时就有过主动承认犯规的举动。就算译男没有看过那场比赛,那也不应该因为墨菲一些较真抑或小气的行为而怀疑他的职业道德,两者有质的区别。就连一向以2著称的另一位五星体育的解说某某,在谈到墨菲的问题时,人家至少也能客观的说一句“他只是对事不对人”,你这又是算哪出?

2011年上海大师赛半决赛 威廉姆斯-罗伯逊

张迅提到一位球迷在微博上问到右手球员换左手打和左手球员换右手打是不是应该叫switch,

张迅:这个应该叫forehand,switch是开关的意思吧。

译男:Switch?应该是女巫的意思吧。以前做过一部动画片,叫Miss Witch,就是讲女巫的嘛。

我想说,两位大哥,求求你们别再卖弄自己的英语了。张迅说的还靠谱点,译男你这是抽到哪里去了?敢情Miss Witch在你那里是写作 Mis Switch啊?其实真心不想吐槽你们英语差,但是老拿出来显摆又是何苦呢?确实有人喜欢说人名和术语时用英文,但我相信在中国大多数人还是不习惯这样吧。人名用英文就罢了,术语说英文也算了,但是有时完全没必要的时候也要非要用一下英文么?(果然随后译男就说到,黑球“spot”附近的那颗红球,你说一下黑球“点位”会蛋疼啊?)

至于他俩无数次的强奸球员意图,球局如火如荼而他俩自顾神游象外,等等,就不一一列举了。不过,相信他俩还是有不少粉丝的,如果我哪个地方说错了,欢迎各位看官吐槽,但是谢绝谩骂攻击,谢谢合作。

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斯诺克著名主持人Rob Walker介绍球员的经典段子

初次见到Rob Walker,是在一场斯诺克世锦赛的直播当中,当时我还不知道他的名字,但是他险峻的面容,深邃的眼神,乱糟糟的头发,洪亮的声音,激情的语调,当然还有那一口地道的陡峭的英国腔,都让我牢牢的记住了这个人。后来比赛看得多了,他也便和那裁判,那星牌球桌,那亨得利胸前的贵人鸟广告,等等一样,成了不可缺少的风景线 。他那句招牌式的“Let’s get the boys on the baize!” 在点燃全场观众热情的同时,也每每都能让我热血上头,恨不得立刻拍马杀到谢菲尔德,体验一把现场的气氛。当然,他的球员介绍也是非常的精彩,几乎个个都是经典段子。最近世锦赛打得如火如cha的同时,觉得看直播还不够尽兴,就把电脑上以前的比赛重温了一下,顺便整理了Rob的段子,放在这里,算是开张篇吧~

先上一张图片,经典手势+经典台词”Let’s get the boys on the baize!”

Graeme Dott:

A player making his seventh appearance in the 2nd round here at the Crucible, an absolute sensational record in Sheffield, he’s been in the final 3 times, he went all the way in 2006, he beat Mark King in the 1st round, he’s the pride of Scotland, he’s “The Pocket Dynamo”, Graeme Dott!

他第7次出现在克鲁斯堡第二轮,一个在谢菲尔德绝对震撼的记录。他3次打入决赛,并且在2006年夺冠。他在第一轮击败了马克-金。他是苏格兰的骄傲,他是“袖珍发电机”,格雷姆-多特!

Jamie Cope:

A player who is now up in the world top 16 for the very 1st time, he beat Andrew Pagett here in the 1st round. It’s gonna be a very tough task for him tonight, but he will come out and will give absolutely everything, he is “The Shotgun” from Stoke, Jamie Cope!

他现在第一次处于世界前16,他在第一轮击败了安德鲁-帕吉特。今晚对于他将是一个非常艰巨的任务(4-12落后于马克-威廉姆斯),但是他一定会全力出击。他是来自斯托克的“霰弹枪”,杰米-科普!

Dave Harold:
The former Asian Open Champion, quarter-finalist here in 1996, he is “The Stoke Potter”, Dave Harold!

他是前亚洲公开赛冠军,1996年世锦赛8强。他是“鬼火神工”(或者“火炉击球手”..)(此外号的来源是他家乡曾经以陶瓷工业著称),戴夫—哈罗德!

Liu Chuang:
The 4th 17-year old to play here in the Crucible, beating Dominic Dale in qualification, from China, Liu Chuang!

他是第4位在17岁登陆克鲁斯堡的球员,他在资格赛中打败了多米尼克戴尔。他来自中国,他是刘闯!

Ali Carter:
The 2-time ranking event finalist, bidding for 2nd experience in Crucible quarter-final, he is a qualified pilot, that’s why I call him “Captain” Ali Carter!

他是两次排名赛亚军,如今正为第二次克鲁斯堡8强而战。他获得了飞行员证书,所以我们叫他“机长”,阿里卡特!

Mark Williams:
A player of unquestionable plenty grade,winner of 16 ranking event titles, twice a UK Champion, twice a winner here in Sheffield, he is “The Welsh Potting Machine”, Mark J. Williams!

一个无可置疑的硕果累累的球员,16次排名赛冠军,两次英锦赛冠军,两次世锦赛冠军。他是“威尔士进球机器”,马克威廉姆斯!

Joe Perry:
The former European Open finalist, bidding for his 1st Crucible semi, beating former World Champion Graeme Dott in Round 1, here comes “The Gentleman”, Joe Perry!

他是前欧洲公开赛亚军,他在第一轮击败了前世锦赛冠军格雷姆多特,正朝着第一次克鲁斯堡的半决赛前进,他是“绅士”,乔佩里!

Ronnie O’Sullivan:
The most naturally gifted player ever to grace the game, a sensational 147 on Monday making his 8th experience in thesemi-final, the 2-time World Champion, blinking you’ll miss it, cause he’s called “The Rocket”, Ronnie O’Sullivan!

他是历史上最有天赋的球风华丽的球员,两次获得世锦赛冠军。他在周一打出了一杆震撼的147,如今第8次进入半决赛。他的动作眨眼即逝,因为他是“火箭”,罗尼奥沙利文!

Stephen Maguire:
One of the nicest players on the circuit, he won this title in 2004, and reached final here last year. Knocking out 2-time World Champion John Higgins in the quarter-final, he is the pride of Glasgow, and the World No. 2, he is“On-Fire”, Stephen Maguire!

他是当今最好的球员之一,他2004年在这里夺冠,并在去年进入决赛。他在8强战中淘汰了两届世锦赛冠军约翰希金斯。他是格拉斯哥的骄傲,他是世界第2,他是“火力全开”(或者“赤练魔王”“烈火金刚”....),斯蒂芬马奎尔!

Marco Fu:
A player enjoying his 3rd season in the world top 16, it’s his 3rd experience in a ranking event final, unarguably the biggest match in his career so far. He is the 2007 Grand Prix Champion. He knocked out Joey Perry and Ali Carter on route to final. He is the pride of Hong Kong, and he is full of eastern promise, Marco Fu!

他享受着第3个赛季的世界前16,他第3次杀入排名赛决赛,迎来了职业生涯中毫无疑问最重要的一场比赛。他淘汰了乔佩里和阿里卡特。他是2007年大奖赛冠军。他是香港的骄傲,他承载着东方的希望,他是傅家俊!

Shaun Murphy:
Coming right back to form exactly what he counts, the 2005 World Champion, and 2 time Malta Cup Winner, knocking out last year’s runner-up Stephen Maguire in the semi-final, he is a class act on and off the baize, he wears the flight suit, he is the World No. 3, Shaun “The Magician” Murphy!

他是2005年世锦赛冠军,两次马耳他杯冠军。他适时的恢复了状态(此赛季之前的比赛他状态都很差),在半决赛击败了去年的亚军斯蒂芬马奎尔。他在赛场内外都是优秀的表演家(应该是指他的钢琴特长),他有如披上了飞行斗篷,他是世界第三,肖恩“魔术师”墨菲!

    

最后附一下前人的更多更全的总结:

Rob Walker经典开场语录!【转自上海文广bbs Rocky_平城狸 原创】

Liang Wenbo:
A player who enjoyed a memorable crucible debut last year. He beat former champion Ken Doberty in round 1 and made it all the way to the quarter finals. The risky left-hander with an attacking style, Liang Wenbo!
去年享受了难忘的克鲁斯堡首秀的球员。他在第一轮打败了前世界冠军肯?达赫迪并且一直闯入四分之一决赛。冒险主义的富有攻击性的左撇子,梁文博!

Ding Junhui:
The youngest winner of 3 ranking titles. 2005 UK champion, twice he’s had 147 in major tournaments, baized here in Sheffield, enter the dragon, Ding Junhui!
最年轻的获得三个排名赛冠军的选手。05年英锦赛冠军,两次147满分创造者,东方之龙驾临谢菲尔德,丁俊晖!

Ricky Walden:
A player making his crucible debut, former under 21 world champion, he won his first ranking event earlier this season in Shanghai, from Flintshire, Ricky Walden!
一位首次来到克鲁斯堡的球员,前21岁一下世界冠军。本赛季初在上海拿到了他第一个排名赛冠军,来自弗林特谢尔,里奇·沃顿!

Mark Selby:
One of the sports’ most colourful charactors, in 2007 he reached the final here in crucible, in 2008 he won the Masters and the Welsh Open, he is The Jester from Leicester, he is Mark Selby!
一位个性丰富的运动员,07年在克鲁斯堡这里打进决赛,08年大师赛和威尔士公开赛的冠军,他是莱斯特的小丑,他就是马克·赛尔比!

Rory McLeod:
A man today creating snooker history, the first black player to appear in the World Championship here at the crucible. Undoubtedly, the biggest match of his life. They call him the highlander, he is Rory McLeod!
一位在今天创造斯诺克历史的男人,首位在克鲁斯堡的世界锦标赛亮相的黑人球员。无疑,这是他生命中最重要的比赛。他们叫他挑战者,他是罗瑞·麦克劳德!

Mark King:
Enjoying his third spell in the world top 16, a two time ranking event finalist, four times he’s been in the second round in the crucible. The pride of Essex, Mark “the Royal” King!
他享受着职业生涯中第三个排名前16的赛季,两次闯入排名赛决赛,四次闯入世锦赛的第二轮。他是埃塞克斯的骄傲,马克“皇家的”金!

Stuart Bingham:
Former World Amateur Champion, making his fourth appearance here at the crucible. He knocked out Stephen Hendry on a memorable debut 9 years ago, he is the “Ballrun”, he is Stuart Bingham!
他是前世界业余比赛冠军,第四次在克鲁斯堡亮相。他在九年前难忘的首秀中地击败了斯蒂芬?亨德利,他是“滚球”(……),他是司徒·饼干!

Ronnie O’Sullivan:
Hold your breath for a player barely needs introduction. He’s a genius with a cue in his hands, he’s world No.1, he’s the defending champion, blinking you’re missing, he’s the rocket, Ronnie O’Sullivan!
屏息以待这位几乎不需要介绍的选手吧。球杆在手,他就是天才,他是世界第一,他是卫冕冠军,稍纵即逝,因为他是火箭,罗尼·奥沙利文!

Gerard Green:
A player making his fifth appearance here at the crucible, a semi-finalist in Grand Prix in 2007, he represented Northern Ireland the nations called the Rainham potter, Gerard Green!
一位在克鲁斯堡第五次登场的球员,07年大奖赛闯入四分之一决赛,他代表着北爱尔兰,他们叫他雷汉姆的球手,杰拉德·格林!

Ali Carter:
Enjoying his best season of his career so far. 3 ranking event semi-finals and a magnificent Welsh Open title in Fabruary, a sensational finalist here last year, some call him “The Captain”, he may as prefer “Capitano”, here comes Ali Carter!
他享受着职业生涯中最美妙的赛季。闯入三次排名赛的半决赛并且在二月刚刚拿到威尔士公开赛的冠军。他是去年在这里的亚军,他们叫他“机长”,但是他喜欢“卡皮塔诺”(意大利语的机长),阿里·卡特来了!

Barry Hawkins:
A player making his fourth consecutive appearance here at the crucible, 4 time ranking event finalist, the pride of Dartford, Barry “the Eagle-Eye” Hawkins!
这是他连续第四次在克鲁斯堡亮相!四次排名赛的亚军,他是达特福德的骄傲,巴里“鹰眼”霍金斯!

Graeme Dott:
A player rediscovering his zest for the game. Quarter-finalist in the China Open last month, a magnificent world champion in 2006, he’s the pride of Scotland, he’s the pocket dynamo, he’s Graeme Dott!
一位重新找到了斯诺克的激情的选手。上个月在中国公开赛打进八强,06年辉煌的夺得了世锦赛冠军,他是苏格兰的骄傲,他是击球的发动机,他是格雷厄姆·特!

Mark Williams:
One of the most decorating welsh players in the game. Twice a winner of the Welsh Open, twice a UK Champion, and twice a champion of the world. He is the welsh potting machine, he is Mark J Williams!
威尔士最富传奇色彩的选手之一。两次威尔士公开赛冠军,两次英锦赛冠军,两次世界冠军。他是威尔士进球机器,他是马克·威廉姆斯!

Stephen Hendry:
The most succesful snooker player in history. Winner of outrageous 36 ranking event titles. 7 times a world Champion, the … King at the Crucible, he’s Stephen Hendry!
历史上最成功的斯诺克球员。他不像话地夺得了36个排名赛的冠军,7次世锦赛的冠军。他是克鲁斯堡之王,他是斯蒂芬·亨德利!

Jamie Burnett:
A player making his second appearance 13 years after his debut. Holding the record of the highest break in official tournament, a 148 in the UK quarlifiers. From Hamilton, Jamie Burnett!
一位时隔13年再次亮相克鲁斯堡的球员。他拥有官方赛事单杆最高分的记录,在英锦赛资格赛中打出的148分。来自汉密尔顿,杰米·波内特!

Stephen Maguire:
One of the nicest guys in the game. Winner of 4 ranking event titles, a World Championship semi-finalist 2 years ago, he’s on fire, he’s Stephen Maguire!
最好的球员之一。四次积分排名赛冠军,两年前在这里闯进半决赛,他着火了!他是斯蒂芬·马奎尔!

Mark Allen:
A rising star now firmly in the world top 16. A 2 time ranking event semi-finalist, making his third appearance here at the crucible. He is the pride of Northern Ireland, he is the pistol, Mark Allen!
一位稳在前16的新星(翻译成瑞星算了)。两次排名赛的半决赛,第三次在克鲁斯堡亮相。他是北爱尔兰的骄傲,他是手枪,马克·艾伦!

Marco Fu:
A player enjoying his third spell in the world top 16. Beating for his third quarter-finals here, the Grand Prix champion in 2007, UK Championship runner-up in 2008, he’s full of eastern promis, he’s Marco Fu!
一位享受着第三个前16赛季的球员。为第三次进入四分之一决赛二战,他是07年大奖赛的冠军,08年英锦赛的亚军,满载着东方的希望,他是傅家俊!

Shaun Murphy:
Winner of two motor cups. World champion here in 2005, the reigning UK champion, he is a class act on and off the baize, he is the pride of Irthlingborough, Shaun “the Magician” Murphy!
(不知道怎么翻,但是意思是世锦赛和英锦赛的双料冠军)05年的世界冠军,并且刚刚获得了英锦赛的冠军,场内场外,他都…(这个也不知道怎么翻),他是厄斯灵堡的骄傲,肖恩“魔术师”墨菲!

Michael Holt:
A player making his fourth appearance here at the crucible. Three times ranking events quarter-finalist having the best season in his career so far, from Nortingham, here comes the “hitman”, Michael Holt!
一位第四次在克鲁斯堡亮相的球员。三次打进排名赛的四分之一决赛进入了生涯中最好的赛季。来自诺丁汉,“杀手”来了!迈克尔·霍特!

John Higgins:
A player who has won just about everything in the game. Winner of 19 ranking event titles, two times victories here, he is the reigning Grand Prix champion. He’s the wizard of Wishaw, John Higgins!
一位几乎赢得了一切的选手。他是19个职业排名赛的冠军,两次这里的世界冠军,本赛季的大奖赛冠军得主。他是威肖的巫师,约翰·希金斯!

Niel Robertson:
One of the best long potters in the game. Knocking out last year’s finalist Ali Carter in round 2, the 2006 Grand Prix winner, 2007 Welsh Open winner, and the reigning champion from Bahrain, he’s the thunder from down under, Niel Robertson!
世界上最好的长球选手,在第二轮淘汰了去年的亚军阿里·卡特,06年大奖赛的冠军,07年威尔士公开赛的冠军,本赛季巴林锦标赛的冠军,他是澳大利亚的迅雷,尼尔·罗伯逊!

Joe Swail:
The former Irish professional champion, twice semi-finalist here at the crucible, magnificent runner-up in Welsh Open in February, he’s the outlaw, he’s Joe Swail!
前爱尔兰职业冠军,两次在克鲁斯堡打进半决赛,在二月强势夺得威尔士公开赛亚军,他是“非法操作”,他是乔·斯威尔!

Martin Gould:
A player making his debut here at the curcible. Beating former UK champion Matthew Stevens to qualify, the 2 times England Amateur champion, the Pinner potter, Martin Gould!
一个在克鲁斯堡首次亮相的播放器(……)。战胜了前英锦赛冠军马修·史蒂文斯晋级正赛,两次获得英格兰业余冠军,来自皮纳的球手,马丁·古尔德!

Nigel Bond:
A player making his 15th appearance here at the crucible. Beating former world champion Peter Ebdon in round 1, the 1995 finalist and 1996 Welsh Open winner, forget 007, this man’s the real Bond, he’s Nigel Bond!
一位第15次在克鲁斯堡亮相的球员,在第一轮打败了钱世界冠军彼得·爱伯顿,1995年的亚军和1996年威尔士公开赛的冠军,不要管007了,这位是真正的邦德!他是奈杰尔·邦德!